Femininity, Masculinity, and Tropes That Need To Stop: Part III (Excerpt)
The alpha male is a really, really tricky character, in my opinion, because a writer is walking a razor edge—one wrong phrase and he goes from “guy who likes to be in control” to “rapist.” This is made worse by the way that we as a society just accept men being dismissive of women’s requests. A man should never, ever say “If you want me to stop tell me now, because pretty soon I won’t be able to.” That is not sexy, that is a warning that he considers consent to be a one time thing and your no is invalid once he says it is. I want us to decouple “man who is attractively in control of things” and “man who ignores a woman’s wishes” because those are two very different things. We need to start demanding better alpha males—men who not only hear the word “no” and react appropriately, but also men who actively seek the woman’s consent. Being proactive about consent is not incongruous with a man who “knows what he wants” because it means he also wants someone who knows what she wants and recognizes that that’s equally important.
Important reminder from LondonRainings (x)
WHEN THE PROFESSOR GOES ON A TANGENT COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO CLASS
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When your period does the thing where you think it’s done and it’s really not…